The pain of being a good girl

Yes, I am a good girl 

The good girl who always wore the longest skirt in school  with two pleats 

Who studied hard to score good marks and never bothered about how she looked

Who played outdoor games and never worried about the tan

The good girl who could never be someone's first sight love or even crush

With whom people will only talk about if she can lend notes or help in homework 

A girl who was good in acedmics sports and everything, but no body would remember her after school 

Yes, I am the good girl who enters the college with loose fitted mom bought clothes and again two pleats 

The good girl who is no one in the new world 

The good girl who makes efforts to make friends by doing favours to everyone 

The good girl who sits on the first bench , prepares notes, listening to teacher carefully, so that all her 'friends' don't miss it when they return from their movie 

The good girl who is known by ' ok the girl who is always with that really pretty girl'

Or ' the girl who has worst dressing sense ' 

I am the good girl , every girl now wants to be friends with as I would never steel their boyfriends 

I am the good girl, whom boys can tell who they like and who they have crush on.

I am the good girl , who has a company only before exams 

Now , I am the good girl who has no boyfriends, but lot of marriage proposals from far elder guys , who want a good bahu for their parents 

So I became the good bahu, who takes care of husbands parents while husband is watching TV 

I am the good bahu who takes care of her inlaws , still treated badly, still scolded harshly, never respected, never appreciate, still stays with in laws as she don't want to be the one 'who breaks families '

I am the good wife who became pregnant and takes all pains for a baby while husband takes trips abroad 

I am the good wife who is pregnant and doesn't even has the energy to get from bed and dress up while husband has gone to play sports, it's his hobby after all 

I am the good mother who takes care of kids while husband parties with colleagues 

I am the good wife who got sacked from job because of family responsibilities while husband is getting promoted 

And just the moment I tell about my feelings to my husband , I become bad, cranky, complaining and jealous of my own husband 

Don't know how good in this world is to be good. I wish I could be a bad girl.

Precious Stones!!

There was a little girl
In the corner of some village
Collecting beautiful precious stones
Was the only hobby at that age
She picked some stones from the gravel
Some left over pieces of granite and marble
Initially they were rough
With very sharp edges
Dumped in the dirt , since ages
She washed them up
Cleaned all the dirt
She started playing with them
Even while getting hurt
Every time while playing
When sharp corners break
She bore the pain
They will get round, in this sake
After some time
They really turned beautiful and round
She made all her friends look at them
And used to feel proud
She offered her friends
To play with her
As she has the most beautiful stone
Every girl desires
But these heartless stones
Do not made her win every game
No matter how much she cared for them
And bore all the pain
These stones never cared for her
She wins or not , they are not bothered
So difficult to accept the truth
These stones had no feeling for her!!
After all, these are stones, the real ones!!
But in the real life too
We all have in some form or another
Such precious stones!!
We all have and care about some relationships
Which turn out to be stones
So always remember
After all they are stones!!

Who Cares!!!

We are all part of a croud
Where no one is nobody's
All enjoying their loneliness
Crying sometimes over heart breaking attachments
It's a festival of disaster
We are celebrating because we are left
No pretending anymore
We are proud to be selfish
No time to talk to person next
Busy on telecommuting
A disease of modernisation
We all laking immunity for it
Oh God! Really no escape
Either be it or cry, who cares!!
Often I stopped and waited for someone
Oh God! It was a mistake
Sometimes tried to help some
Well, I was being used
Missed some people and cried for them
But they were not even bothered by tears
Everyone trying to be practical
Successful or not, who cares!!

Faces

I have my faces
One for parents
One for my baby
One for pretentious loved ones
One for pretentious friends
One for non pretentious haters
One for judgemental others
N one for The God...

Every face is true
N sometimes pretentious in its own way
Playing various roles
Making its own place
They even know each other
And sometimes don't even like each other Sometimes envy each other
Still do exist with each other

It has its own benefits
And it's own issues
And I know that it's not only me
There are others too
There are Gods inside
But also devils sometimes
It's hard to admit
but there is also a ME inside

Sometimes they even fight
And it's hard to tell who is right
Every one has its own reasons
But ME is the one every one always likes
However it never comes in front
But ME is d most dominating one

But we are social animals
Can't always be ME
It's difficult to face judgment
Even if it's not from a source worthy
I wish I could always be ME...
Tired of carrying so many faces. ...

Fighting my own battles

You always have to fight your own battles
Alone and forever
Sometimes even with your loved ones
Sometimes even with Almighty
There is no end to it
But to do ,not even die.

It's tough , for everyone
Most of the times painful and heartbreaking
There are no extra powers or life
You have to do it with what you have got
Most of the times you might not even win
But you can't quit.

There will be people who will not agree
There will be people who don't like you
There will be people who want to completely destroy you
There will be people who rejoice your sorrow

You have to be your mentor
You have to be you coach
Because you can not expect this from anyone else
You have to prepare your self
Even monitor your self
There might not be someone to hold you when you are falling
You have to support your self
You have to hold your self

Don't be sad to here this
As this is how all good people are doing
As who does this for themselves
Are the ones who becomes conquerers
Rest all become followers

Don't feel alone as this is the journey of life
You have the elite group of people to join
Where again you will be playing another battle
As life without thrill is also unexciting. ...

Kitni Batein..

Aaj fir kuch alfaaz hotthon pe aa ke rah gaye
Khamoshiyon se kashmakash kar ke rah gaye
Yun to in baton ka koi ant nahi shayad
Magar ye shuru hua kab ye sochte rah gaye
                Bohot se tufaan jo hamne socha tha so gaye hai
                Na jane kyo fir dharashayi kar jate hai
                Bohot se chahre jo hamne socha tha anjaan ho gaye hai
                Na jane fir kyo aankho me utar aate hai
Dhadkano ki ye raftaar jo dheemi se pad gayi thi
Aab kayi baar tham si jati hai
Bohot si khwaishen jo bhool si gayi thi
Fir se dastak de jati hai
                 Kitni batein aisi hai mann me
                 jo ab lagta bhi nahi ki kah paenge
                 ye jindagi jo khel khel rahi hai
                 vahi dekhte hue rukhsat ho jaenge..

In search of someone

In search of someone
*****************************************************************
In this huge pile of relationships
In the large crowd of dear ones
You have every aspect of life
Every emotion to feel
My dear heart
Why do you still search someone?
Embraces are there in some
Smiles are there in some
Appreciation is there in some
Criticism is there in some
Responsibilities are there in some
Care is there in some
Competition is there in some
Envy is there in some
Still you are always looking
Still you are always searching
Still you feel alone
Always making me numb
Why are you so greedy?
Why do you need so much?
Why all the emotions given to you
are never enough?
No one holds everything
No one is perfect
No one stays forever
You will have to accept
Why still that emptiness
Why still that thirst
Life goes like that
And it keeps on getting worst
Stop expecting from people around
Stop creating unnecessary wound
You are with the people you deserve
At least a part of it u have already found
And the part you haven’t
You won’t even get it
As in all the people around
There is always something missing
No one can hold your hand forever
No one can be with you forever
No one is exactly like you
No one will like you forever
You also have many flaws
You also can’t support someone somewhere
It’s only you and your soul
And some memories here and there
Accept and enjoy the piece of cake you are getting
As it’s always good to eat in limits
In the greed of more
Don’t forget the taste of cake you are having
Life is not perfect
But that doesn’t mean that u should stop living…………
My dear heart, please stop searching………….
***************************************************************************
Aditi Mishra